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How to cope? among others.

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Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: How to cope? among others. Reply with quote

Elle, greetings.

I hear you are working on a play. Good luck in your endeavors, and I am sure it will be the talk of town. As to my questions, you will forgive me if I try to obtain, a certain amount of anonymity. My work, is sometimes my life, and to admit to the things I've been subject to, can have unwarranted repercussions.

My life has been fullfilling up to a point. My family is close knit, my work is my dream job. Though, recently, I have to come to face a part of myself I have never wanted to acknowledge. It burns for things I've scorned or judged as unnatural, things I've built my life around destroying. Perhaps it was always there, but perhaps it is the result of my recent choices. How can I distinguish between what is natural to me, and what is not natural? How can I keep this part of me from hurting others?

On another note.

I have this friend, who assisted me, when I was at my bleakest. He is strong, and well known, and perhaps I am too sheltered. I have only had one lover in my life, which is, to term a phrase, 'unnatural' for my kind. Love as thou wilt, my mother would teach me, and I have never taken this to heart. Tho now I question, when I look at my friend, perhaps he means more to me than just a comrade, or ally, or friend to assist? How can I note the differences between friend and potential lover? and how do I reconcile any of this, if the friend is already spoken for.

Your advice, would be appreciated.

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Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 5:53 pm    Post subject: Letter in response Reply with quote

Dear "Phantom Lover",

First of all... let me just say that flattery will get ya everywhere with me, yer clearly a very intelligent person.

Moving on:

Sometimes we write things out of our lives because we've never really experienced them before... and then, once we do, it confuses us because we've spent so much time doing our bloody best to convince ourselves that these things are a waste of time, or "unnatural". The truth is, they're neither of these two things... they're just something we haven't experienced yet, and that makes them different and strange... the only way to fix that is to do them anyway, at least until we can definitely decide how we feel about whatever it is we're trying. The way I see it is like this... nothing is really unnatural. We've just been led to believe that there are certain things that are because the people we surround ourselves with might be uncomfortable with them. So I say "screw 'em". Just because they're sheltered and frightened doesn't mean that everyone is, and ya shouldn't have to feel awkward about doing something you obviously wanna do. If yer being true to yerself, then that's kind of all that matters... if people aren't able to accept the fact that you've gotta live yer own life, then ya don't really need them anyway.

As for yer "friend"... There's no such thing as unnatural when it comes to how ya feel. That's my first and foremost rule of anything. If ya feel something is important, then it is... and it doesn't matter what anyone else has to say about it. All that matters is that it matters to you. The tricky thing is deciding whether or not ya wanna take the next step... do ya risk the friendship with this man and make yer feelings known? Or should ya just be satisfied having him in yer life as a friend? That's something you've gotta decide, because no one else can do that for ya. If ya decide that ya need him in yer life on a more permanent basis, then it doesn't matter if he's spoken for... Let him know how ya feel. He's a man, he's able to make his own decisions. If he loves the person he's with, he'll stay with her... or him... whatever the case may be. But if he wants you, then it doesn't matter if he's with someone else... it's a choice that he can and will make.

Ya might not like the outcome... but I'm a firm believer that if yer not willing to fight for the precious things that ya desire, people'll take them away from ya... So the question here isn't whether or not ya feel like ya love him... or if ya feel like ya should take the risk... the question is: Are ya gonna be happy if this other person takes him away from ya? Are ya willing for fight for him?

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